Saturday, May 28, 2011

All Up In Dat in the 21st Century!!


I have finally succumbed to the siren call of the smart phone. Not that I will understand how to use it, but it will be in my technology-challenged little hands on Tuesday. I will be able to navigate by GPS, text, take pictures, have near-constant access to the internet and be on strong antacids, and maybe even tranquilizers, for the frustration of using a touch screen with long fingernails.

My hair, thank you very much will not be coming with me. It is choosing to stay firmly entrenched in the 70’s and is very happy there, I think. I have curled, flat-ironed, grown it to ever finer and thinner lengths, and even Instyled it all to no avail. It flatly refuses to resemble anything modern.

At least it is not a mullet, nor do I resemble Hillary Clinton any more thanks to my thoroughly modern daughters, but alas, I do not look sophisticated, attractive or even marginally like I even know what a flatiron is!

I need serious help. Intervention maybe. I’ve had a hairstyle relapse. Hmm, maybe it could be a reality show? And maybe I could watch THAT on my new smart phone! Yep, I’m workin’ it. I'm all up in dat, dudes. Holla’ at me, homey. I’m… was that a knock on my door?

What are you guys doing with that little white coat? Is that a new style or something? Straight-jacket you say? Hey, I think the sleeves might be too long…

Wait! I can’t use my hands. How am I gonna text my peeps?