Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The crazy man my kids call "DAD". I call him Andy (sometimes)...

So on Father's Day I had this brilliant idea to write a post about some hilarious situations which my husband...and father of our children...finds himself. Except I didn't write it on Father's Day, so now I'm just going to write it as comedy. Lloyd won't care either way, and besides, it might have just made you jealous he's not your dad!! Or maybe not... It depends on how you feel about 4 am. Phone calls and lagoon showers...

Story #1: So back in 1990-something when we were dating, Lloyd was visiting at my home in Fairview during a wicked snowstorm. Since it was too dangerous to travel, he slept on the couch planning to rise at 4 am. and drive to work at IPP. It still looked pretty bad outside in the early morning dark, but we realized we were up in the mountains basically and the roads between might be okay at lower elevations. So I suggested he call the local sheriff's office and see what they could tell him about road conditions, especially in Nephi Canyon. Here's the phone call:

(phone ringing)

LW: Hi. I was wondering if you could tell me the road conditions between Fairview and Delta?
POP (person on phone): Who is this?
LW: Ummm ...well, I'm Lloyd Westenskow
POP: So whatcha callin' me for?
LW: Well, I didn't know who else to call.
POP: So you just picked the first number you come to, huh?
LW: Who's this?
POP: This is (so-and-so) in Roy, Utah.

Lloyd apologized. Apparently it's easy to mis-dial a prefix in the wee hours of a winter morning.

Story #2: One day, Lloyd was leaving the IPP plant on a very windy day. As he pulled his car keys from his pocket, some paper currency blew out. He started chasing it, but the wind blew it all over the place, and eventually across a large field that was bordered by another road. A truck pulled up, and a man got out and picked up the money. Then Lloyd was angry and thought “That #$*& is going to steal my money!” He was wrong. The man waited for Lloyd to run approximately a quarter mile, then handed him his windblown ONE DOLLAR BILL! Embarrassed, Lloyd walked back to his car, unlocked the door and just before getting in the car, his hat blew off his head and out to the field. Too funny!

Story #3:
I was visiting with some young granddaughters one day. We were discussing boyfriends. I said that grandpa was my boyfriend. They said “He's not your boyfriend, he's your husband.” I said, “And he's my boyfriend.” They said “Who's Andy?" (And-he) LOL!!!

Story #4: We took a large group of our family to Lagoon one year. Our three youngest boys still needed help getting dressed after a few hours in the Lazy River so they, and Lloyd, went to get showered and dressed. It was a Saturday, and Lagoon was packed. (Now keep in mind that Lloyd used to drill in a mine...that knowledge will help explain the subsequent behavior.) Lloyd took off his wet clothes and headed for the shower. The first thing he realized was that every single shower was taken. The second thing he realized is that he was the only person fully naked. That's how miners did it after all. Now here's the funny part: He thought to himself “I need to get out of here. But... no... then I'll feel stupid.” So instead of that “stupid” choice, he goes over to a shower, occupied by a swimsuit clad man, and says “Can I just stick my head in here for a second?” And he does.

He doesn't know where the guy disappeared to, but he got out of their quickly nonetheless. No sense getting the cops involved, you know?

Seriously, if you don't have a dad like him? You should consider adopting some crazy ol' coot!