Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Livin' the Dream!

I know I know, you’re already livin’ the dream. Nine-to-five in business casual, or blue collars and grease- or oil- stained hands, or any of the thousands of dreams one can live in the work-driven world in which we live. I know we’re livin’ the dream. You’ve read a lot about our success in that area in previous blog posts.

Here is a guide to livin’ the dream IF you want to be like us, (having just purchased a new-to-us car):

First, run a couple of errands in your new car.

Second, stop for a bite to eat and bring the new car's manual inside with you.

Third, eat a double cheeseburger and chips while you read your new car manual.

Fourth, when you're done eating, go get in someone else's new white car with your wife, and marvel at how it really does have power seats when you didn't think it did. And then freak out because WHERE DID THE NEW CAR STICKER GO? We’re sure it was in the back window! At that point, we hope, like us, that you figure out it’s NOT your car even though you’ve made yourself comfy there for 10 minutes! 

Fifth, Find your own car, get inside and sneak hastily out of the parking lot, hoping no one sees you attempting grand theft auto.

Sixth, on your way to get a haircut, look in the glove box for your owner's manual because it's starting to rain and the windshield wipers don't work. That won't help, because you can't see it in the glove box, so Seventh, you race back to Rancher Cafe and ask all the waitresses if they saw it on your table, which they didn't.

Eighth, ask all the waitresses to help you find they guy whose car you sat in for a few minutes because maybe you left it in HIS glove compartment (so much for hastily sneaking). You didn't. He'll say, "you're welcome to look but it's probably locked". And you'll say, “It's not. I know ‘cuz I've already been sitting in it for a bit."

Ninth, no one finds it even though everyone is laughing because you are so dang entertaining in your confusion. Plus you look Einstein-crazy with that hair of yours, and that wild confusion in your eyes.

Tenth, come back to your wife while she is hiring an employee and you are frustrated out of your mind, with your still-needs-to-be-cut, Dr. Emmett Brown-windblown-hair. Ask her, "where did the dang car manual go? And oh, by the way, the Mickey-Mouse-piece-of-you- know-what window wipers don’t work?"

Eleventh, realize that, as your wife pointed out earlier, the glove compartment goes back farther into the car than you realize. (And you said, “I know!”)

Twelfth, get back in the car, find your car manual, go get your crazy wild hair cut and buy a dang fuse already…for the windshield wipers. Now that it’s not raining.


Living the dream, man, livin the dream!