Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Twilight Zone – The Blog Post

I'm starting to think I live in the Twilight Zone. I don't know if everybody has such odd things happen to them, but it's really got me stymied. For instance, today I was driving to work with only half-defrosted windows and the wipers working hard at the other half. All of a sudden, the driver's side wiper went left instead of right and rested non-chalantly on my side view mirror. I stopped, got out, and found that it was disconnected from the car. I hope it doesn't rain until I can figure out how to get the entire apparatus (not just the wiper blade) back to doing its job.

Another example, I can't even remember the last time my alarm didn't go off and even when it didn't I woke up anyway. Well, it happened yesterday. I slept two extra hours and was an hour late for work. Hasn't happened since high school, and then it may have been manipulation to get out of a few hours of school. My memory is going so who knows, but I suspect that might be true.

I can often feel my smart phone vibrating in my bra...when it's not in my bra. I also regularly get a case of hives. Make that one hive. One single insanely itchy hive. About every other day. Can you hear the Twilight Zone theme music yet?

And then there's my dog, a shaggy Shih Tzu named Elway, who is crazy. The other day, a friend was visiting and he hopped up into her lap. That's not unusual, he does that all the time. But then he climbed her stomach, pawed a soft place in her, and made himself comfy. I've never seen him do that before and he's sat on many, many laps.

Also, once I had a car that, when the radio was off, I could hear the theme song to “I Love Lucy”. I know, straight-jacket material, huh?! In another car, if I pressed the brake and hit the right turn signal, the horn would honk.

Last week I put the back seat of my car down in order to bring home a door. Even though I've raised the seat back up bunches of times, this time I can't do it. Mechanical things are a problem. Like the door to our lobby at work. It has a lock that can be opened without a key for safety reasons (in case I have to make a quick getaway after a drug test goes bad or something). If my landlord is standing there, I can open it right up. If he's not, neither I, nor the guy in the next office, or even the cleaning lady can unlock it to save our lives. So far our lives haven't needed saving, but it could happen. Especially in the Twilight Zone.

Recently, my daughter asked if she could order some things through my Amazon account, where I had just browsed and ordered a toy for her son's birthday gift. About an hour later, I was balancing my checkbook and saw a whole list of toys had been purchased. I panicked, called my daughter and said, “I accidentally ordered like six toys. When they come, will you send them back and I'll give you shipping money?” She said, “Mom. Remember when I asked if I could use Amazon?” Oh, right. Technically that's more an estrogen-deprived-lack-of-memory issues than TZ weirdness but it felt pretty weird at the time.

As a bonus, I've learned a new language. It goes like this. Lloyd and I are watching television and I yell: “Hit pause”. Terrified by my outburst, he obeys. I say: “Those stairs. See them? They are the exact ones from that know...where what's her name hangs that stuff over the railing...and ...oh, who is that actor?... well her husband,? They leave and get back together? What was that movie?”

You get it, right? I got it too. Eventually. The next day I called Lloyd and said seven words: Hi. Bruce Willis. The Story of Us.” The weird thing is he knew exactly what I meant. And it really was the same staircase!

Just last night, dinner wouldn't cook, my television show didn't record and all our ice cream melted.
Seven words: Turn on oven, Wednesday not Tuesday, fridge.

I rest my case.

God is a God of miracles!

3/9/2014 – Oak City 2nd Ward Fast and Testimony Meeting

After almost a month of withdrawing into a corner, licking my wounds after the most recent emotional battering I took, I had a sweet visit from my Relief Society leaders that helped me turn that around and get back to center. I knew before I even had my makeup on this morning, that I would be bearing my testimony today. The Spirit told me. It did not tell me what I would say. But I know by the end of today's meetings:

In our womens' meeting (Relief Society), we learn about faith and repentance. I feel an intense spiritual confirmation...again...that our God is a God of miracles. I am reminded of the miracle the Savior worked for Nephi when commanded to build a ship. Instead of complaining about how hard it was, or that he didn't have tools or experience (which I am constantly whining about), he said “If the Lord commanded me to do all things, I could do them.” It comforts and strengthens me to know that Nephi's God and my God are one and the same and thus He will help me the way He helped Nephi.

I love that God is a God of tender mercies as evidenced by that meeting ending with the hymn “Be Still, My Soul” which has been a go-to source of comfort for me for 20 years.

Another tender mercy is that every word spoken in every lesson is for me today. In Sunday School, where we are learning about the Old Testament, we talked about the sacrifice Abraham was asked to make: the sacrifice of his son, Isaac. As the mother of a beloved son struggling with addiction, I can relate to Abraham. As I began to stop enabling behavior and trying to help create a “bottom” which would move his heart to change, it felt like that kind of sacrifice. It is not natural for us, as LDS mothers, to force our sons to sleep in cars if they are not sober, or to leave the comfort of our arms for desolate places when they cross agreed upon boundaries. Many times my Savior has intervened in my son's efforts at self-destruction. I know God sees those actions as love. I know the same God who saved Isaac, loves my son, and can save him too.

Joseph Fielding Smith said:

“Remember everyone has weaknesses. And there are two sides to every story. If you err in judgment, err on the side of love and mercy.” No one does that better than each of you (the members of my ward). No matter what happens in our family--and we do experience a host of almost bizarrely devastating trials on a regular basis--you show up. You support us. No matter how public and uncomfortable the situation, you err on the side of love and mercy. Not a person in this room has been without influence in our lives. Every time you express your love, perform some act of service, say your prayers, or even say amen to prayers to help those who are struggling, I feel your love.

I know my Savior lives. I know He is a God of miracles. I know He is both just and merciful. I know we are led by divinity, even in our weaknesses (and mine are many), as long as we are doing our best.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.